Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Forget Me Not

Ah ha! It is done!
And soon I'm gonna have to read it to me class. O.o
I'm pretty proud of it, enjoy! :D

Katie walked briskly down the street towards her house, the smell of rain heavy in the air and thick grey clouds covering the late afternoon sun. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk and her keys jangled in the outer left pocket of her candy-apple-red purse. As she neared the corner she noticed the young girl selling homemade candy apples in front of her house. She frowned; Katie had never seen this girl before though she knew most of her neighbors. It was also odd to see any stands; her quiet street would not be a good one for selling things. The girl had long blonde hair, so blonde it was almost white, and it covered her face as she studied something on her stand. As Katie approached the girl looked up. Her eyes were a beautiful blue-green and they seemed to sparkle like the ocean on a sunny day. A flicker of emotion crossed her face but it was gone so fast Katie couldn't read what it was. Instead it was replaced with a bright, innocent smile.
"Hello! Would you like an apple? They're only $2!"
Katie smiled back, "No thanks, not today. Maybe another time, they do look good!"
The girl looked her in the eyes, her smile dimming a bit. "You don't actually think that, do you? You want one! It matches your purse. You want an apple."
Katie bit her lip, debating this. She kept thinking about a candy apple. So sweet and juicy. And it wasn't really unhealthy, it was basically an apple. She slowly reached into her purse and pulled out her wallet. She had just opened it when a fat rain drop landed on her nose. She suddenly noticed a great many things. She could smell the rain again and feel the cold nipping at her nose; it was as if her senses had been sharpened. Or dulled then returned to normal…
Katie frowned, not even knowing why she had considered a candy apple; she didn't like them.
She forced a smile back on her face. "I'll pass, thanks." And she hurried back to her house.
The next day when she left for work in the morning, a cotton-candy-blue purse on her shoulder, there was no sign of the girl or her stand. Katie let out a sigh of relief, then laughed at herself. She had no reason to be scared of the sweet little girl. Maybe if she was back this afternoon Katie would get something from her, even if she didn't like it, as an apology for yesterday.
When Katie arrived home in the afternoon the girl was waiting outside her house again, this time with baby blue cotton candy. As she neared the stand the girl jumped up from the small wooden stool she had been sitting on.
"Hello! Would you like some cotton candy? Only $2, and it matches your purse!"
Katie looked down and noticed that the colors were almost identical.
"Wow, you're right. Yes, I would like one cotton candy please."
The girl smiled sweetly. "Of course!" She held one out to Katie. "That will be $2!"
Katie smiled back handing her $3 and taking the cotton candy. "Keep the change!"
The girl's face lit up. "Thanks! Have a nice day!"
"You too."
Later, when Katie ate the cotton candy she was amazed at how good it was. Somehow it was better than most cotton candy, though she wasn't sure how much it varied in taste. The more she ate, the more she craved and when she finished Katie went outside to buy more, but the girl was gone.
The next day was Sunday and Katie didn't have work. All she could think about was the girl and the cotton candy; she spent most of the day waiting for her to show up like a young kid waits for their best friend to arrive. By 4:00 p.m, when Katie normally came home, she still hadn’t appeared. She sighed and decided to watch an episode of House Hunters.
 When it finished she half-heartedly checked out the window. The girl was there! Katie grabbed her wallet and rushed outside, eager to buy whatever the girl was selling. She didn't notice the rain or the wind or the cold, all she was focused on was the stand.
"Hello!" The girl called cheerfully. "Would you like some pink lemonade? Only $2 and it matches your wallet!"
Katie glanced down at her wallet. It was the same color as the lemonade. "Why yes it does! But isn't $2 a bit much for lemonade? Normally it's only 50¢."
The girl looked annoyed. "No it's not. $2 is a perfectly reasonable price and you want to buy some."
Katie nodded. She didn't consider that it was odd day to sell lemonade for she still hadn't noticed the rain which was coming down harder. "Okay, of course. You're right. Here's $2"
The girl took it and handed her a cup of pink lemonade in return. As Katie turn to leave the girl called her back. "Why don't you sit with me and drink it?"
Katie smiled. "Of course."
The girl pulled another stool out from under the stand and Katie sat, sipping the lemonade. As she drank the girl began to talk. Katie's mind had gone blank, lacking any thoughts of her own and she agreed to what the girl had said.
As Katie walked away the girl smirked.
“See you tomorrow,” she whispered.

The next day was bright and sunny, perfect for the baseball game Katie was going to, but she didn't notice. She blankly grabbed her grape colored purse and walked out of the house. She failed to notice the bright bird song or the faint smell of the ocean. All she saw was the girl. The girl was already waiting where her stand had been the day before and when Katie reached her the girl handed her a grape candy.
“It matches your purse.” She said.
Katie popped it into her mouth and together they walked the two blocks to the bus stop. On the bus they sat side by side, Katie staring straight ahead. They didn’t speak.
When the bus reached the stadium the girl pushed through the throng of people that had boarded the bus, Katie trailing behind her. Katie bought them both tickets and they found their seats, the plastic hot from the sun, burning Katie’s legs. She didn’t feel a thing.
The girl was smiling broadly as more and more people sat around them. When the stand was almost filled she turned to Katie.
“Are you ready?”
Katie nodded blankly back, reached into her purse and pulled out a gun. She turned and shot the person behind her, conveying no emotion. People began screaming as blood gushed out of the woman's wound and she slowly began to bleed to death. The man she was with, most likely her husband or boyfriend, was trying to carry her away so Katie shot him too. She turned and shot four more people before reaching into her purse and reloading the gun. The remaining people, screaming and crying, ran for the exit like deer running from a predator. No one else tried to grab the dying. Katie shot six more times, and reloaded and shot six more. Next to her the girl stayed where she was, grinning. As security guards and police began to replace the civilians the girl turned to Katie.
"For your final task you must shoot yourself. You cannot be caught; it is a fate worse than dying."
Again Katie nodded. She turned the gun around, pressing it to her temple and calmly pulled the trigger, falling to the ground dead.
The girl flashed an evil grin and disappeared into the crowd, completely forgotten.


  1. I know I only commented on the other version, like, yesterday, but I read it again because it's SO GOOD :P

    Good redrafting skills, too? Being able to make effective changes is always good, especially when it was so great to begin with?? :)

    I really like the details you include (like the hot plastic seats?????? that's INGENIOUS), and honestly, Dugglyn, you should write more often O_O

    I hope you get a good response from your class! ^^

  2. Okay, it was great the first time! Now it's better! I liked how you clarified the bit about the grape candy a little more, that was a good change. Awesome story! I agree with Taia, you should really write more, that was great!